*sigh*

September 25, 1989. That is the day I started dating my husband. September 1, 1996. That is the day I married my husband. March 24, 2009. That is a day I want to erase from our life.

We met so long ago and have spent more than half of our life together. I find that fact utterly amazing. We've been through so much together and love each other with all of our being. Ken is such an incredible man, father, husband, friend, and just a wonderful person. Which is something impressive considering the crap he's been faced with.

His dad died from cancer when Ken was only 17. Three short years later he lost his mother, also to cancer. Most people would crumble if they had to endure these events in their life. Many a man has been driven to drugs, alcohol, crime and worse when faced with such devastating circumstances. Not Ken. No, he instead focused his energies on his schooling and career and me. Instead of falling into a deep hole and struggling with demons, he choose to make his parents proud. He knew they would be watching over him and he wanted them to know he would survive, even thrive, and that he would be a successful and compassionate person. He wanted to fulfill whatever dreams they may have had for him.

And he has. He is a fantastic person. He is caring. He is loving. He puts me and our four children ahead of everything. He is so responsible and he is my whole world. I don't know what I would do without his support, companionship, love. I need him in my life. I want him in my life. He is my family.

We celebrate Sept. 25 and Sept. 1 as our anniversaries. Those dates are precious to me. The March 24 date? That date can bite me. That is the date that we found out Ken has cancer. Freakin' stinkin' testicular cancer. I HATE that this is happening to him. So many fears have seemed to erupt in an instant. The emotional turmoil, the uncertainty, the unknown, have swept over us and left us feeling scared and pissed and drained. Trying to remain positive is challenging. We know the statistics are in our favor. This type of cancer is curable. The success rate is 95%. The doctors said that if you are going to get cancer, this is the one to get. woo hoo.

So we are trying our best to be positive. We know Ken can beat this. I will fight this fight with him. I will support him and love him with all of my being, as he has done for me these last twenty years. I know he will survive, and thrive. I know he will make his parents proud. I'm proud of him.